Pull up my bootstraps. Get my mojo back. Sitting at home the day before school starts I just can't seem to do either. Every year, I am faced with what I believe many students are faced with - getting the energy together to motivate, to begin again. Normally, the summer sun hitting a box of new crayons and the air bursting with a warm waxy smell or me bustling through Target to stock up on cheap supplies kicks me into gear. But this year is different, this year I am truly stuck. I feel like I am in deep mud and putty painted walls of a moldy old school, are turning in on me. I am stunned. I am a guilty paper copier and with every page wasted I say, "why?" I am confused with the education system. Of guiding with rules and regulations. I am tired of teaching a subject alone after trying to find collaborators for years. Is this being BURNT OUT. Or is it the expectation of wanting another career path, one that I was hoping to have at the start of this school year.
I hope that seeing the students tomorrow will bring the energy I need but I feel it might be whimsical. Just a soft push and then I will fall. Burnt to a crisp. I am worried.
